Comments on: “Hereville” reviewed on Webcomic Musings http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/ The web page for the comic book "Hereville," by Barry Deutsch Sat, 22 Nov 2008 02:45:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: gridsleep http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/#comment-3359 gridsleep Wed, 24 Sep 2008 04:34:40 +0000 http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/#comment-3359 Oh really? You didn't know Merlin was Jewish, then? Tas t'vats sa. Oh really? You didn’t know Merlin was Jewish, then? Tas t’vats sa.

]]> By: Alex http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/#comment-3241 Alex Thu, 04 Sep 2008 01:19:54 +0000 http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/#comment-3241 I actually thoroughly enjoyed the Shabbat sequence. I'm not Jewish, but I come to comic (and fiction in general) to look at the world from someone else's point of view. For me, Shabbat is as fantastic as novel and fantastic as fighting trolls, and I enjoyed the chance to have insight into that experience. I actually thoroughly enjoyed the Shabbat sequence. I’m not Jewish, but I come to comic (and fiction in general) to look at the world from someone else’s point of view. For me, Shabbat is as fantastic as novel and fantastic as fighting trolls, and I enjoyed the chance to have insight into that experience.

]]> By: Dani http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/#comment-3150 Dani Mon, 25 Aug 2008 21:57:51 +0000 http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/#comment-3150 I, personally, didn't feel the Shabbos piece was an inturruption, but I will agree that its introduction was a bit abrupt. However, it did so much to expand the world our heroine lives in that I can't imagine the story without it. But then, I've always been a huge fan of detailed world building. I, personally, didn’t feel the Shabbos piece was an inturruption, but I will agree that its introduction was a bit abrupt. However, it did so much to expand the world our heroine lives in that I can’t imagine the story without it. But then, I’ve always been a huge fan of detailed world building.

]]> By: Zvi http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/#comment-3104 Zvi Thu, 21 Aug 2008 07:49:10 +0000 http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/#comment-3104 I like the idea of this unique comic and am completely supportive. My 2 - pfennigs? shekels? :-) follow: First the positive I think that the weekly rhythm of Shabbos could become a very interesting unifying theme over the course of a long story arc; it is something that could, over time, give this comic a unique character and a flavor all its own. However, if I may give my feedback, I found that the Shabbos scene both interrupted the flow of the story and, because it did feel like an interruption, distracted me from the introduction of Shabbat, which I think will be almost like a recurring character in its own right, one that is only out of sight but not out of mind during the rest of the week. The feeling of interruption could potentially have been reduced by making Shabbat less of a surprise to the reader. A hint of foreshadowing or the prior establishment of a sense of time could bridge between the "timeless" quality of the first part of the story and the sudden introduction of the weekly rhythm. Also, the Shabbos segment felt like an interruption because it contained no evident plot development - rather the opposite. Even if the characters were enjoying the break, the reader was waiting to get back to the story. Finally, I would suggest being patient and introducing Shabbos gradually. You will have plenty of time to add layer after layer as days and weeks flow by. Regarding the mouths and other features, I don't see any issue. The art style of most web comics evolves over time as the artist experiments and becomes comfortable with the characters' appearances and expressions; it's far too soon to know where you will take this! :-) Anyway, this comic is an exciting idea. Best of luck! צבי I like the idea of this unique comic and am completely supportive.

My 2 - pfennigs? shekels? :-) follow:

First the positive I think that the weekly rhythm of Shabbos could become a very interesting unifying theme over the course of a long story arc; it is something that could, over time, give this comic a unique character and a flavor all its own.

However, if I may give my feedback, I found that the Shabbos scene both interrupted the flow of the story and, because it did feel like an interruption, distracted me from the introduction of Shabbat, which I think will be almost like a recurring character in its own right, one that is only out of sight but not out of mind during the rest of the week.

The feeling of interruption could potentially have been reduced by making Shabbat less of a surprise to the reader. A hint of foreshadowing or the prior establishment of a sense of time could bridge between the “timeless” quality of the first part of the story and the sudden introduction of the weekly rhythm.

Also, the Shabbos segment felt like an interruption because it contained no evident plot development - rather the opposite. Even if the characters were enjoying the break, the reader was waiting to get back to the story.

Finally, I would suggest being patient and introducing Shabbos gradually. You will have plenty of time to add layer after layer as days and weeks flow by.

Regarding the mouths and other features, I don’t see any issue. The art style of most web comics evolves over time as the artist experiments and becomes comfortable with the characters’ appearances and expressions; it’s far too soon to know where you will take this! :-)

Anyway, this comic is an exciting idea. Best of luck!

צבי

]]> By: Simon http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/#comment-3078 Simon Wed, 13 Aug 2008 18:25:42 +0000 http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/#comment-3078 Very good points made. I hadn't entirely realized that the Shabbos sequence was also building Mirka's character - perhaps I wasn't paying the right kind of attention. I guess I'm used to a different style of narratives, emphasizing plot at the expense of characters. Definitely something for me to consider. Very good points made. I hadn’t entirely realized that the Shabbos sequence was also building Mirka’s character - perhaps I wasn’t paying the right kind of attention. I guess I’m used to a different style of narratives, emphasizing plot at the expense of characters. Definitely something for me to consider.

]]> By: Barry http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/#comment-3067 Barry Mon, 11 Aug 2008 10:13:17 +0000 http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/#comment-3067 Well, I agree, obviously. :-) And Alex, that's exactly what I intended with the Shabbos scene. But it's one of those things that some readers just won't enjoy, and I understand that. Well, I agree, obviously. :-)

And Alex, that’s exactly what I intended with the Shabbos scene. But it’s one of those things that some readers just won’t enjoy, and I understand that.

]]> By: Ray Radlein http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/#comment-3050 Ray Radlein Thu, 07 Aug 2008 04:53:15 +0000 http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/#comment-3050 I didn't find the Shabbos sequence to be an interruption at all, but that could be because I only discovered <i>Hereville</i> a couple of weeks ago, meaning I read all the way through the sequence at once. Drawn out over an extended period of real time, I <b>think</b> I would still have liked it just fine, but, obviously, it's too late to run that particular experiment. I didn’t find the Shabbos sequence to be an interruption at all, but that could be because I only discovered Hereville a couple of weeks ago, meaning I read all the way through the sequence at once. Drawn out over an extended period of real time, I think I would still have liked it just fine, but, obviously, it’s too late to run that particular experiment.

]]> By: Alexander Danner http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/#comment-3041 Alexander Danner Wed, 06 Aug 2008 03:02:37 +0000 http://www.hereville.com/2008/08/05/hereville-reviewed-on-webcomic-musings/#comment-3041 Like Simon, I'm often frustrated by authors who interrupt the action of the story for world building exposition, and doubly so if it's to tell me a bunch of unessential info about an "interesting" real world culture that the author clearly feels I need to be educated about. In the case of the Shabbos sequence though, to me, it really did feel more like character development than just world-building--we need to understand the culture to understand the characters, and the fact that even our heroine would consider Shabbos more important than her quest tells us so much. I didn't feel tricked at all--given the world setting, I thought I was getting exactly what I signed up for. I will grant, though, that the muppet mouths do occasionally get a little excessive, though. Like Simon, I’m often frustrated by authors who interrupt the action of the story for world building exposition, and doubly so if it’s to tell me a bunch of unessential info about an “interesting” real world culture that the author clearly feels I need to be educated about. In the case of the Shabbos sequence though, to me, it really did feel more like character development than just world-building–we need to understand the culture to understand the characters, and the fact that even our heroine would consider Shabbos more important than her quest tells us so much. I didn’t feel tricked at all–given the world setting, I thought I was getting exactly what I signed up for.

I will grant, though, that the muppet mouths do occasionally get a little excessive, though.

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